The Perspective

Find your inner C-WORD

Confidence

The C-WORD most of us wish we were.

Confidence. Think of this word for a moment. What do you think of?

I immediately think of my husband, David. Radiating with charisma and self-confidence, drawing people in. Seemingly sure of himself, even when he’s not. My business partner, Kristin, enters a room shoulders back, smile on her face and ready to socialize, never flinching at public speaking or voicing her opinion on a topic.

Confidence comes in many forms, but today let’s discuss the David’s and Kristin’s of the world. Those self-assured, c-words who believe in themselves, even when no one else does.

When I was young, I was harsh and pushed people away; as an adult I became too soft and agreeable. I used to rush to conflict, dukes up. As an adult, I would scurry around the perimeter of any conflict, like a cockroach avoiding light. Recently, I have found my inner “C-Word.”

Gone are the days second guessing my opinions, and worrying I hurt someone’s feelings. No longer will I dress myself to others’ standards or sweat in a gym due to judgmental whispers, “Oh my God, Becky. Look at Alycia’s butt.”

Something I realized after 28 years and two kids later, is haters are going to hate and ballers are going to ball. Ok, seriously– Nothing you do can control what others think. You may temporarily fool them, but in the end the truth will break through and set you free.

Yes, “The truth shall set you free.” Whoever made this up, was a genius.

People will love you, like you, or not matter at all. Do you even think of people you dislike? Personally, they almost never cross my mind. When they are mentioned, I say something funny and move on. See, you can still bring someone joy, if they dislike like you!

The moral of the story here is: don’t trip, potato chip. Worrying what other people think breeds insecurity, the exact opposite of confidence. Learn to love who you are. You don’t need to be extraordinary to love yourself. It’s OK to fail or be ignorant on a subject. You don’t need to be beautiful for people to love you. No one is perfect, and if you claim to be, you’re a dang dirty liar.

Love, honesty and respect for yourself will not only make you a better person, it will demand those same values in your relationships.

I am totally OK, with being a C-Word.

How do you stay confident?

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10 Comments. Leave new

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Erica Hurley
April 23, 2017 8:23 pm

I love this! I was just talking to a friend yesterday about not investing time in those who won’t nurture the person you want to be! Great read!

Reply
    Alycia Mccain
    Alycia Mccain
    April 23, 2017 10:45 pm

    Erica, I totally agree and thank you so much for reading. It really means a lot to me! Love you c-word. 😘😘

    Reply

Great article Alycia! You are one of those people that I may not know well, but who’s life I love to keep up with (FB makes it too easy). E erything you write is positive or funny, two qualities I absolutley adore. Keep making things great woman, you do it wonderfully!!

Reply
    Alycia Mccain
    Alycia Mccain
    April 23, 2017 10:46 pm

    Bree, this was such a wonderful surprise to read from you just now! Thank you for cheering me on, I can’t tell you how much that means.

    Reply

This was great and fun to read! I love you Alycia and keep being confident.

Reply

This is such a raw take on confidence and I love that!! Nobody talks about the funny thoughts you get that are slightly embarrassing but so true. You are so dope Alycia, straight up one of my role models for sure. 😘

Reply
    Alycia Mccain
    Alycia Mccain
    April 24, 2017 11:13 pm

    Gabriela, this was so sweet and means a lot to me thank you 😊 sister from another mister! ❤

    Reply
Avatar
Ryelan tarkington
April 27, 2017 8:55 pm

Alycia,
Great read😀😀I love that you are so real!!! That is a quality I have always loved about you. Thanks for writing on a topic that a lot of us battle! I know coming into my 30s I have realized confidence is the best outfit and I’m slowly learning to wear it……Lol
Love and miss you 😘
P.S I always thought you were the “c” word

Reply
    Alycia Mccain
    Alycia Mccain
    April 27, 2017 9:05 pm

    Hahaha! Ryelan, you made me laugh at the end. Thank you so much for reading. I had a lot of fun writing it and really hope it helps people. I plan on keepin’ it real yo’. Love and miss you too! Let’s have lunch with our babies sometime!

    Reply

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