Confidence. Think of this word for a moment. What do you think of?
I immediately think of my husband, David. Radiating with charisma and self-confidence, drawing people in. Seemingly sure of himself, even when he’s not. My business partner, Kristin, enters a room shoulders back, smile on her face and ready to socialize, never flinching at public speaking or voicing her opinion on a topic.
Confidence comes in many forms, but today let’s discuss the David’s and Kristin’s of the world. Those self-assured, c-words who believe in themselves, even when no one else does.
When I was young, I was harsh and pushed people away; as an adult I became too soft and agreeable. I used to rush to conflict, dukes up. As an adult, I would scurry around the perimeter of any conflict, like a cockroach avoiding light. Recently, I have found my inner “C-Word.”
Gone are the days second guessing my opinions, and worrying I hurt someone’s feelings. No longer will I dress myself to others’ standards or sweat in a gym due to judgmental whispers, “Oh my God, Becky. Look at Alycia’s butt.”
Something I realized after 28 years and two kids later, is haters are going to hate and ballers are going to ball. Ok, seriously– Nothing you do can control what others think. You may temporarily fool them, but in the end the truth will break through and set you free.
Yes, “The truth shall set you free.” Whoever made this up, was a genius.
People will love you, like you, or not matter at all. Do you even think of people you dislike? Personally, they almost never cross my mind. When they are mentioned, I say something funny and move on. See, you can still bring someone joy, if they dislike like you!
The moral of the story here is: don’t trip, potato chip. Worrying what other people think breeds insecurity, the exact opposite of confidence. Learn to love who you are. You don’t need to be extraordinary to love yourself. It’s OK to fail or be ignorant on a subject. You don’t need to be beautiful for people to love you. No one is perfect, and if you claim to be, you’re a dang dirty liar.
Love, honesty and respect for yourself will not only make you a better person, it will demand those same values in your relationships.
I am totally OK, with being a C-Word.
How do you stay confident?